This is taken from HopeChurch Singapore Breakthrough Camp Devotional.
How to restore a relationship
Talk to God before talking to the person.
Discuss the problem with God first. Tell him your frustrations. Cry out to him. He is never surprised or upset by your anger, hurt, insecurity or any other emotions. So tell him exactly how you feel. Conflict is rooted in unmet needs. Some of these needs can only be met by God. When you expect anyone to meet a need that only God can fuifil, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and bitterness. No one can meet all your needs except God.
Always take the initative.
It doesn't matter whether you are the offender or the offended. God expects you to make the first move.
Matt 5:23-24
When fellowship is strained or broken, plan a face-to-face meeting asap. Delay only deepens resentment and make matters worse. Acting quickly also reduces the spiritual damage to you.
Sympathise with their feelings.
Before attempting to solve any disagreement you must first listen to people's feeling. Feelings are not always true and logical. But just listen and let them unload emotionally without being defensive. Try to understand their feelings even though you may not agree. People don't care what we know until they know we care.
Confess your part of the conflict.
Confession is a powerful tool for reconciliation. Don't make excuses or shift the blame; just honestly own up to any part you have played in the conflict. Accept responsibilty for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
Attack the problem, not the person.
In resolving conflict, how you say it is as important as what you say. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively.
Cooperate as much as possible.
Romans 12:18
Peace always have a price tag. Sometimes it cost our pride; it often costs our self-centreness. For the sake of fellowship. do your best to compromise, adjust to others, and show preference to what they need.
Emphasis reconciliation, not resolution.
It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrevelant. God expects unity not uniformity. We can walk hand-in-hand without seeing eye to eye on every issue. This doesn't mean you give up on finding a solution. You need to continue discussing and even debating - but you do it in a spirit of harmony.
How to restore a relationship
Talk to God before talking to the person.
Discuss the problem with God first. Tell him your frustrations. Cry out to him. He is never surprised or upset by your anger, hurt, insecurity or any other emotions. So tell him exactly how you feel. Conflict is rooted in unmet needs. Some of these needs can only be met by God. When you expect anyone to meet a need that only God can fuifil, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and bitterness. No one can meet all your needs except God.
Always take the initative.
It doesn't matter whether you are the offender or the offended. God expects you to make the first move.
Matt 5:23-24
When fellowship is strained or broken, plan a face-to-face meeting asap. Delay only deepens resentment and make matters worse. Acting quickly also reduces the spiritual damage to you.
Sympathise with their feelings.
Before attempting to solve any disagreement you must first listen to people's feeling. Feelings are not always true and logical. But just listen and let them unload emotionally without being defensive. Try to understand their feelings even though you may not agree. People don't care what we know until they know we care.
Confess your part of the conflict.
Confession is a powerful tool for reconciliation. Don't make excuses or shift the blame; just honestly own up to any part you have played in the conflict. Accept responsibilty for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
Attack the problem, not the person.
In resolving conflict, how you say it is as important as what you say. If you say it offensively, it will be received defensively.
Cooperate as much as possible.
Romans 12:18
Peace always have a price tag. Sometimes it cost our pride; it often costs our self-centreness. For the sake of fellowship. do your best to compromise, adjust to others, and show preference to what they need.
Emphasis reconciliation, not resolution.
It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem. When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often becomes irrevelant. God expects unity not uniformity. We can walk hand-in-hand without seeing eye to eye on every issue. This doesn't mean you give up on finding a solution. You need to continue discussing and even debating - but you do it in a spirit of harmony.
posted by Ham meets Christ at 5:55 AM
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